Even the best of us go through marital problem every now and then. Learn about 7 common marital problems and how to solve them.
Keyword(s): marital problems
It's easy to think that love will simply conquer all. But the truth is, most of us will experience marital problems at some point in our lives. While it isn't true that half of all marriages end in divorce, the rate is still high.
Part of the problem is people not knowing how to handle the problems they face. But as a married couple, you need to be willing to work together as a unit to fight these issues head-on.
Here are seven common problems that married couples face without knowing how to handle.
Money is one of the biggest problems that married couples face. Handling joint finances together for the first time can put a strain on any relationship. And that makes sense.
Before having to deal with money together, a relationship can exist in the realm of the ideal. But as soon as spending habits can be placed under scrutiny, couples have a new thing to fight about and handle together.
This is made worse by the fact that many of us are control freaks by nature. We want to handle our own finances without being dependent upon the acumen of our spouses and partners.
This issue can be dealt with by using three things: trust, forgiveness, and accountability. Trust in the fact that you and your partner can handle finances. Forgive each other for small mistakes. But hold each other accountable for spending money responsibly and avoiding large spontaneous purchases.
A lot of "faithful" people cause marital problems by having emotional affairs. What makes these affairs particularly seductive is that a person might not even know they're having one.
An emotional affair has all of the trappings of an affair without the sex. It features a forbidden nature and deep emotional intimacy that drives a wedge between you and your partner.
Think about the exciting spark of meeting a new person. Chasing that rush of dopamine in your interpersonal relationships can itself be dangerous.
The best bet here is being self-critical. If you have a sneaking suspicion that your behavior borders on an emotional affair, it probably does. It also helps to be open and honest about what's bothering you about your partner or spouse's behavior.
Selfish Communication Causes Marital Problems
This one can seem like a bit of a cliche. But the thing is, it happens all of the time in real life.
Humans like to talk without having a conversation. We also like to hear without listening. Instead of engaging in constructive dialogue with the people in our lives, we're only interested in saying our piece.
This is an incredibly flawed approach to conflict and one that can be difficult to fix. It takes a lifetime to become a skilled communicator.
While some of us are blessed with an innate listening ability, the rest need to be intentional. Remember to listen before speaking and be present in every conversation to build a happy, healthy, and productive marriage.
Too Much Technology
The average American now spends 10 hours per day looking at a screen. Laptops, desktops, televisions, and smartphones consume our lives. When this happens, we cause marital problems.
This is because nobody wants to feel lesser than a piece of technology.
And the only way to deal with it is making an effort to change this behavior.
You should set aside personal time to be spent without screens. If you feel that your spouse is spending too much time on their phone, bring it up with them. At the end of the day, it will feel better than living with the constant distraction of technology.
Holding Onto Anger
Every relationship is built on trust. One of the most important places to seek trust is in forgiveness.
Marital problems can come from not being able to feel a conflict has ended. When we hold onto anger, we lose our ability to effectively communicate forgiveness with our spouses.
It can be hard to forgive. But having a genuine conversation about why you're upset and making an effort for change is a good start. It also helps to be willing to recognize your own behavior's contribution to a negative situation.
Ultimately, think of forgiveness as a muscle. While at first, the anger can overpower it, eventually we can learn to rise above.
Boundaries are an important part of any marriage. While we all love our spouses, we also know it's important to get time to ourselves.
Overcoming the way boundaries cause marital problems is essential, essentially in early marriage. The only way to do it is by being clear about what these boundaries are and how one plans to engage with them.
Don't feel bad or uncomfortable telling your spouse that you need some space. And if your spouse tells you the same, don't take it personally.
The best thing that we can do is respect the needs of each other.
Lack of Appreciation or Attention
While people are in the dating stage of a relationship, it's common to shower each other with attention, appreciation, and love. But within a marriage, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that this love still exists.
This can cause extreme marital problems. Because when a person feels unappreciated by their spouse, they wonder if the love has left their marriage.
And it's even worse when a sudden withdrawal of that affection and love has occurred.
Make sure you remember t express love and appreciation for your spouse often. At the end of the week, it can be great to tell each other one action you've really appreciated.
Get Marriage Counseling
Ultimately, martial problems happen in any relationship. But that doesn't mean they can't be dealt with.
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