Stop Divorce: Can a Career Undermine a Healthy Relationship?
We're here to do everything we can to stop divorce. Is your work/life balance getting in the way of your marriage? Talk to us - we're here to help.
In the United States, an average of three out of every one thousand people have been divorced at least once.
That number isn't very alarming on its own. But when you consider that an average of around seven out of every one thousand people are married, it becomes much more shocking.
There are so many reasons why marriages fall apart. Sometimes people get married too quickly and find out that their personalities don't quite mesh.
Other times a lack of communication causes friction, leading to divorce.
Building a strong marriage requires managing conflict, working past problems, and working towards shared goals.
But even good, healthy relationships suffer from time to time. One of the most common ways that they suffer is when a career gets in the way of a couple's relationship.
Stop divorce talk before it starts by addressing these problems early in a relationship
A job or career might be necessary if you and your spouse are looking to achieve goals or be financially stable. But when those career goals get in the way of a marriage, conflict is sure to ensue..
How to Tell if Your Career is Undermining Your Relationship
If your marriage is headed towards divorce, you might be worry that your career is to blame. If so, it's time to take a step back and look at how your job is affecting your personal life.
You're never home
Most jobs require more than forty hours a week from time to time, especially during busy parts of the year.
But if you constantly find yourself working 60 or more hours every single week, it may be having a negative affect on your marriage. Spending time with your spouse is essential for a healthy, happy relationship.
Your workday doesn't end when you get home
Even if you aren't working more than 40 hours a week, you may still be committing too much time to work.
Maybe you're constantly on call during the evenings. Or you have to answer phone calls and emails around the clock.
Whatever the reason, working extra from home often means your job is taking away too much time. You might just find that committing to spending more time together stops divorce talk in its tracks.
You come home stressed, frustrated, or exhausted
There have been countless studies over the years on the effects of stress in the workplace. Most center on how the stress affects a person's personal life.
In fact, the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology recently published a study on "surface acting."
Surface acting is when a person suppresses emotions and stress while at work. The study found that the stress and anxiety of doing so can spill over into all other areas of a person's life.
Being stressed or tired when you get home from work is almost certain to lead to arguments with your spouse.
What You Can Do on Your Own to Stop Divorce and Reduce the Effect Your Career Has on Your Marriage
When your marriage has begun to fall apart, it may feel like there's nothing you can do to stop divorce. That's when many people choose to give therapy a try.
Cincinnati marriage counselors can help figure out if your career is affecting your marriage. But if you're still not sure if you're ready for therapy, there is plenty you can do to fix some of the issues on your own.
Cut Back on Unnecessary Hours Spent Away from Home
If you have no choice but to work 60 hours or more a week, this may not be an option for you. But if you are choosing to work extra hours, and it's affecting your marriage, it may be time for a change.
If you get paid overtime, take a look at your finances. Decide whether you and your spouse could get by on a little less money. You might be surprised to find how happy you can be with less money but more time together.
Another problem is when an employee feels that they need to work extra hours to impress their boss.
This can be especially hard on a marriage. It can lead the spouse to feel their husband or wife cares more about their boss's opinion than anything else.
Learning to balance your career goals with personal needs is essential to stopping divorce.
Disconnect While At Home
If you have the choice to not bring work home with you or answer calls and emails during your time off, choose to do so.
Disconnecting from your computer, tablet, and phone goes a long way towards helping you connect with your spouse. The two of you will be able to enjoy each other's company without distractions.
Not having to worry about working around the clock will also help you to relax and de-stress between work hours.
Learn to Communicate Better in the Workplace
Learning how to communicate better with co-workers may not seem like marriage advice. But it can actually be essential to allowing you to leave work at work, and enjoy your time at home stress-free.
That's because if you're feeling stressed, angry, or anxious at work, it's going to spill over into your home life.
By learning to talk to your coworkers about conflicts rather than letting your anger build up, you'll feel much more relaxed when it comes time to go home.
If you've noticed any of the above indicators that your career is affecting your marriage, it may be time to seek the help of a marriage counselor if you want to stop divorce from happening.
A relationship therapist can help you identify the real causes behind conflicts in your marriage. They'll likely be able to pick out causes that you wouldn't have noticed on your own.
It can be tough to see problems in your day to day schedule because you get so accustomed to it. But a relationship therapist is trained to notice even the smallest of details.
Your therapist will be able to help you communicate with your spouse better. That way you and your spouse can have a constructive conversation about your career. This allows you to decide whether you can make it work with your relationship, or whether it's time for a change.
That way you and your spouse can have a constructive conversation about your career. This allows you to decide whether you can make it work with your relationship, or whether it's time for a change.
Couples therapy sometimes gets a bad reputation as a last ditch effort to save a marriage. But choosing to attend couples therapy as soon as problems arise can help you to build a healthy, strong, and lasting marriage.
If you think you and your spouse could benefit from couples therapy, don't wait any longer to seek counseling. Stop divorce talks before they start by getting the help you and your spouse need right away.
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